Anatomy of a 90s Teen Girl’s Bedroom

I know this is a teensy bit of a departure from my usual blog posts*.

*A.K.A. totally and completely off-topic

But I thought I’d do something different today because a) winter is a total jerk who steals all of my motivation, and even when I’m staring at a list of potential blog posts that I’ve compiled for exactly this reason, literally none of them appeal to me, and b) I found some photos* when I was going through storage in Australia and they were far too good embarrassing not to share, so…you’re welcome.

*When I say photos, I mean real, physical, took them on a dodgy camera, snapped away until the film was all used up, took the film to a photo shop and waited in agonising anticipation for them to be developed photos.

They’re digitised thanks to the miracle of a scanner.

This is me. In the bedroom I inhabited from ages 15 – 18.

On the back of the photos, in faded print, is the date 29.12.01, which means I was 16 when they were taken. Who knows why I was being photographed in my pyjamas in my bedroom, but whatever the reason, I’m glad I was because how flipping awesome hideous is my bedroom?

It’s basically an explosion of 90s teen clichés. I mean, I know it’s technically the noughties, but almost everything in this time capsule of a bedroom has been pulled straight from the nineties. That spotty face included.

There’s so much to say about these two simple pictures, pulled from a dusty, spider-filled box, but what I really want to point out is the nineties glory plastered throughout them. So without further ado, I present to you:

The anatomy of a 90s teen girl’s bedroom

1. That computer. OMG that beast of a computer. I could have sworn I wasn’t allowed one in my room, but let’s be honest, there’s only so much you could get up to without internet access. I probably just used it to write emo poetry anyway.
2. Collage. As we were living in a rental, I wasn’t allowed to cover my walls with the pictures I painstakingly cut from magazines and newspapers. But I did have a desk, and I used it as a blank canvas, like any good 90s teen would. Photos of friends, bright flowers, butterflies, pictures of guitars and surfers and VW Beetles and hand-drawn sketches…it was a work of art and I miss that desk every damn day.
3. Pig collection. Oh wait…that’s not a 90s teen thing, is it? Just me, then? Moving on…
4. Tigger toy. Because Winnie the Pooh was like, totally adorable. Also, nodding dogs, which I was saving for the dashboard of my very first car. Not pictured: my teeny-tiny Rugrats backpack.
5. Velvet heart-shaped cushion. In a garish teal. On my garish pink bedspread. On my garish baby blue bed frame (which I painted myself to match the baby blue sponge-painted walls of my old room, obvs).
6. Mr. Men pyjamas. See weird 90s teen cartoon reference above.
7. Dolphin paraphernalia. I thought I was so original for wanting to be a marine biologist. It was a shock to discover that literally every 90s teen was obsessed with dolphins. Bonus points for having a wind chime. Indoors.
8. Miniature pegs. I had a lot of miniature everything, but pegs were a particular favourite. Tell me I wasn’t the only one!
9. That lamp. I think it’s a lamp. Why the heck did I replace my precious lava lamp with this space-themed monstrosity?! Not pictured: my bright blue plastic inflatable sofa. That was a trend and a half.

There is SO much else to laugh at here: the metal box and the collage-topped coffee table (that I made at school), the photo cushion, the teddies, and the cassette tape player I used to meticulously record mix tapes from the radio (which I’ve immortalised in this playlist, this one and this one), but I’ll leave it at that.

And now it’s over to you: which of these 90s teen sins were you guilty of too?

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